coulee | ic spam.

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you know what i meant. given how many hints fly over my head it might as well be one

forgive me before you were ready.

Edited Date: 2023-05-29 08:09 pm (UTC)

Okay.

You leave. (I get the circumstances; we all left.) But then you spend your time away thinking enough about me that you buy me things that are just [...] right. We all come back. I'm late. This bothered you, because maybe I wasn't coming back? You clearly said something about it to Lou instead of contacting me yourself. We then have the most X rated reunion possible, then you leave me before I'm even up??. Then you think I don't want to see you, so you dump something you've spent time thinking about outside my door at 5 in the morning. And now you're just contrite enough about it to think you need forgiving.

These are [...] incredibly mixed signals, Ror. You have me second guessing whether you just want to be friends who fuck ~~more often than~~ or not.

[...] [......] ~~what's contrite m~~ [.........] ok. [...] i can feel myself getting defensive about more than one thing up there so i probably shouldn't try at all but [...] thanks for explaining. sorry that i made it confusing.

I really, truly, honestly don't want to fight, Rory. This is just how I've perceived things and how I'm feeling, and now that I've said my piece, I'll back off.

me neither, and you don't have to back off. i asked

What, you want to keep this thing going?

idk but if anybody's gotta back off, it seems like it should be me??

I meant from this specific conversation.

[..........] ok well in my defense, that was ambiguous

Yeah. Sorry.

d'you want me to drop it too

I just threw you a wall of text without a lot of warning, so... If you want to say something, say it. I get it if you don't yet, though.

i did think about you a lot. you were pretty much always around for 4 years n then all of a sudden you weren't, which sucked. but bro if the stuff i got you was that big of a deal then you need a higher bar????? anybody who pays attention to like half the shit you say should be able to pull a bougie wine out of their ass. which btw was from a ✨sustainable✨ winery.
(the higher bar bit's mostly a joke)

i probably dunno how to keep friends around without mixing signals or something, i never stayed anywhere long enough to really figure it out or deal with the consequences when it went wrong. and i'll deal with those consequences this time but if it's up to me i'd prefer if they weren't real awful ones cause even if we're not fuckin i still care about you all the same, cause you've put up with me for this long.

If it were up to me, I'd prefer for it not to go wrong.

And FYI, it's the thought that matters when it comes to gifts.

um sorry why do we think i needed that reminder???

Don't know, just something you said.

about how i THOUGHT you might wanna try something like a cool wine we came across (that's me THINKing about your interests n hobbies) from a sustainable winery (which btw now i know sonoma's got a rep for that) (that's me THINKing about how you give a shit about the planet and it's also me THINKing about the planet)??

i don't do gifts cause i think i have to give em stuff, i do it cause i'm thinking about the person and i wanna share the thing with them. that's the thought.

Edited Date: 2023-05-29 09:52 pm (UTC)

Yes. And that's why it was a big deal for me.

if you've got friends that give you shitty gifts then you should tell me who they are so i can make lou be mean to em.

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coulee - DM: 29/5